Why Men Are Just Happier People--

You can open all your own jars.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
Chocolate is just another snack.
Your last name stays put. 
The garage is all yours. 
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Wrinkles add character.
You know stuff about tanks.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. 
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. 
Car mechanics tell you the truth. 
The world is your urinal. 
Everything on your face stays its original color. 
Mostly one mood all the time. 
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 
You almost never have strap problems in public. 
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. 
Your belly usually hides your big hips. 
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. 
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Tux rental-$100. Wedding dress $5000.
You can never be pregnant.

No wonder men are happier.